Today is my first day off after the Christmas /New Years’ madness.

It’s been the perfect introvert’s holiday. I woke up late to no alarm.

I’ve done nothing but sit around browsing social media and watching various series on t.v. …all the while taking care of laundry and dishes while my youngest son puts the finishing touches on the re-modelling of his upstairs room.

…wait a sec. the buzzer for the cookies just went.

The pastries are cooling and I am reminded that the dishes from dinner still want to be done. It was a feast of forethought. Two ethically raised rib steaks from the freezer, the last of the romaine lettuce dressed with the last of the chevre and the last of the garden potatoes  (roasted) and of course, revived from frozen, peaches and cream corn. I didn’t need to leave the house to pick up anything.

Oh it was good. We even had wine leftover from the holidays.

Every worry has dissolved into thin air. As I write, the television promises two extra large flex-tone pads if I order Dr Ho’s pain relieving system right now. I’m not sure Dr. Ho can do much for me though…

Tomorrow I have to get out of the house. I must find out what became of the  fully loaded Christmas package I sent my first born son. There is grocery shopping to do and my Staff Christmas Party to attend. Plus I intend to find Camel cigarettes so I can smoke again.

It’s a lot. These days I find that the mere effort of leaving the house can be put off for hours unless I am scheduled for work or have promised to attend this or that function.

What is wrong with me? Has the difficulty of the past year pinned me to the inside of my home or am I just bored with trying to amuse myself?

Work is fulfilling and challenging but I guard my precious private moments like priceless gems…and the only thing I do with those moments are cook, clean, write or paint and take care of the necessities engendered by those activities…and I enJOY them. I revel in the small tasks, finding myself smiling as I polish this glass or scrub that pan.

I think it’s contentment. I want for nothing and yet I still crave more.

I still want to travel the world and tell the stories of weird and wonderful winemakers. I still want  to discover new interesting things about wine and I still want to let the general populace know that when it comes to wine, they are their own experts! There is so much more to learn.

Not to worry. I will escape this fugue. But my dream still haunts me. I still wake up in the middle of the night hoping to open my eyes and not be sure of where I am. Hoping that when my eyelids slide open it will be in a strange hotel room and I will have to search my memory to pinpoint my locale.

It’s a new year and an old dream that still haunts me, so it could still happen. I hope your dreams can come true in this year that is so new.

I hope that we can make it so.









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